I found that I highlight and save off quotes from these books non-stop. I’ve tried to share a few of my favorites as I review each of the books in the Stephanie Plum series but there are too many good ones and not enough space to share. While waiting for Tricky Twenty-Two (did you pre-order yet?) to hit bookstores I’ve decided to pull together my favorite Stephanie Plum quotes. My goal was one per book, but then I realized it might be a little bit of overkill.
Here are a few of my favorites.
“As if they’d never seen a seven-foot transvestite and a two-hundred-pound black women with blond baloney curls all dressed up like Cher on a bad day. Do I know how to conduct an undercover operation,” – Four to Score
It is safe to say that Stephanie’s opinion of being a stay-at-home mom didn’t change as the series went on.
“I might be a stay-at-home mother someday, but I’ll always be trying to fly off the garage roof. That’s just who I am” – Seven Up
Then there were the presidents…
“Holy Mary, mother of God,” my mother said. “You were being chased by Richard Nixon, Bill Clinton, and a rabbit.” – Hard Eight
I think Lula has a point with this one:
“No one can eat just one French fry. I bet super models eat just one French fry.” – To the Nines
I don’t think I could ever watch the movie One for the Money because it would probably ruin my opinion of what Ranger looks like.
“I was standing with my back to the door, and I saw Connie’s eyes go wide. “Be still my heart,” Lula said, looking past me, through the window to the sidewalk. I figured they were looking at either Johnny Depp or Ranger. My money was on Ranger” – Ten Big Ones
No one should ever question how Morelli find’s out about things.
“How did you know about the fire?” I asked Morelli.
“Dispatch called me. They always call me when your car explodes or goes up in flames”
– Eleven on Top
Again, Lula has it right.
“Okay, so this had all the makings of a cluster fuck, but there was a Dairy Queen Oreo Cheese-Quake Blizzard waiting for me somewhere” – Lean Mean Thirteen
When Morelli works long shifts…
“How’s it going?” Morelli wanted to know.
“It’s average. Stole a truck. Blew up a house. Brought seven monkeys home with me. And I have a naked man in my shower.”
“Yea, same ol’, same ol’,” Morelli said
– Plum Spooky
Then there’s the car situation….
“Working at Rangeman is a high-stress job, and you’re one of our few sources of comic relief. I give you a car and my men start a pool on how long it will take you to trash it. You’re a line item in my budget under entertainment.” – Smokin Seventeen
Ranger = Spiderman
“It’s good to have Ranger,” Lula said. “He’s like a personal Spidey.” – Explosive Eighteen
I couldn’t just pick one from Explosive Eighteen
“I sent Hal And Rafael to keep an eye on you, and I went to check on a commercial account in Whitehorse. Rafael called to tell me Lula went in with a rocket launcher, so I skipped Whitehorse. I pulled into the lot seconds before you destroyed Billings Foods.” – Explosive Eighteen
Does anyone remember Kevin?
“I have people trying to kill me. A giraffe is low on my list of disturbances.” – Takedown Twenty
At the end of the day Stephanie’s safety was the most important part.
Morelli turned to Ranger. “If anything happens to her, I’m holding you responsible.”
“Understood,” Ranger said.
“Excuse me?” I said. “I’m an adult. I make my own decisions. And I’m responsible for my well-being. Is that clear?”
“No,” both men said in unison.”
–Top Secret Twenty-One
I think the number one quote (and maybe most used word?) used throughout this book series (other than the word “donuts”) could only come from Ranger.
So what was your favorite Stephanie Plum quote?