I don’t talk too much about my personal life on this blog, but after a day filled with stress… and a conversation with Aaron and my mom, I wanted to share.
Anyone who knows me wouldn’t be surprised by the two carloads of yarn I moved this week, let’s ignore the fact that there is still another. Why do I have so much yarn you ask? It is my sanity. More so, knitting is my sanity.
I’ve been an actual knitter for 5.5 years now… my freshman year of college we would stay up all night watching movies so I started knocking out fun fur scarves. Now socks are my addiction and have been for a few years. As Ann Budd would say “Life is always better when you’re wearing a pair of hand knit socks.”
Aaron was teasing me a few weeks ago that I don’t knit as much any more when we’re just being lazy watching TV. I just haven’t had as much time. He laughed at me and told me that it is because I’m not as nervous when I’m hanging out with him anymore.
He knows me too well.
Knitting has gotten me through a lot of tough situations. I’ve told this story to a great deal of people, but it pretty much encompasses what knitting means to me.
In July of 2008 my mom called to tell me that my grandpa was dying and would be moving in with them. My very first instinct was to go to my yarn stash (there’s a reason I have 3 car loads of yarn) and grab the softest yarn I had and cast on a pair of socks.
If only I knew what those socks would become.
For the next three months I knit on the socks off and on, usually when I was in Ohio spending time with my Grandpa.
One afternoon my grandpa and I were sitting outside enjoying what was left of the summer weather and I was knitting on the socks. He wanted to go inside and I said “Just one more row”. He laughed and rolled his eyes and told me that was what my grandmother always said. My grandpa told me the story of when they would be on car trips and she wouldn’t let him pull over until she finished the row she was on.
“By the time she was done we’d miss the stop and be in the middle of nowhere” – Grandpa
He got used to driving around the block a few times.
October 31st, 2008, I had a conversation with my grandpa for the very last time before he fell asleep. That night I knit on the socks… November 1st, I knit on the socks while sitting by my Grandpa’s bed, and watched as he started to go see my Grandma. On November 2nd, around 3pm I had 12 rows left on the socks. 12 rows.
My mom, dad, and I sat with one of my Grandpa’s wonderful nurses around his bed and his breathing started to slow down… I continued to knit. Every once and awhile my mom would ask me how many rows I had left. The lower my numbers got the slower my grandpa’s breathing got. My Grandpa decided it was time to go see my grandma not too much later. After the tears my mom asked me how many rows I had left…
“Just one more row.”
My Grandma probably yelled at him when he saw her 🙂
It became a joke around the family that I wasn’t allowed to finish anymore knitting projects, or at least get down to one row. The socks felted pretty quickly (they had alpaca in them) and I don’t wear them that often. I eventually want to frame them.
I tell you this story to sort of explain what knitting is to me… it is peaceful.
When I’m stressed I tend to pick up my knitting and knit to calm down. Lately life has been insane, I haven’t been knitting that much.
Last night we went to help Aaron’s sister in her new house for a bit and when we left Aaron said “let’s go relax… you should knit.” In my head I had 1,000 things still to do, I had been up since 5:45 and I was ready to just go to bed. So I didn’t knit.
Today, I regretted it. I went on a hunt to my yarn store, and I didn’t buy anything… I miss my knitting.
So tonight… I knit…