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Grandpa’s not doing well… I called at lunch to say hi… and he has no voice… mom didn’t tell me much but as the day went on things didn’t sound like it was getting better. About 3:45 this afternoon mom sent me an I’m and said grandpa wasn’t talking to anyone… around that time I lost it… Its just so hard to focus when i know he’ sick… he’s not getting better… and things are just frustrating…

I left work at 5 and basically have been crying since… the only stopping me from going home was the fact that i knew i couldn’t drive myself there… Mom called around 6 and said that last night they think Grandpa might’ve had a stroke… the hospice nurse really isn’t sure what is going on… but grandpa wont talk to anyone and is basically out of it. So i started crying harder and just decided that I’m going home tomorrow morning… its either sit here by myself for the weekend or go home and right now home just sounds like the better option.

It’s frustrating being a state away when the person you care sooo much about is essentially dying… and there’s nothing you can do about it…

I want to go back to being a kid… this was so much easier…

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