I’m pretty sure mommy guilt will never go away. When I first came back to work after little man was born I was filled with mommy guilt all day long. Now it tends to vary as I remind myself that I am providing for him by working. My biggest struggle though will always be the evening mommy guilt.
My amazing husband gets off work two hours before me. That means he and little man get some time together before mommy gets home. I get home around 5:30 and as soon as little man sees me, he is all about mommy. I love his squeals, the way his face lights up when he sees me. I won’t lie, it is the best part of my day. I also find it to be the hardest.
Lately if I am trying to hang up my coat, put my bags down, grab dinner, etc he gets mad. The lip comes out and the crying commences. Part of it is that I know he’s tired and ready for dinner but another part is that it’s his time with me and I know he wants my full attention.
Enter mommy guilt.
Last night was a perfect example. I had picked up groceries after work so I could make dinner for all of us when I got home. I rarely cook and a lot of times we rely on precooked meals since hubby is home before me and usually hungry (his workday generally means lunch at 10:30 when I don’t normally eat until noon). while unloading groceries little man got very frustrated with me. He just wanted to be held. My mom guilt kicked in and we wound up playing for a few minutes but he still would not let me go.
He is getting into finger foods but there are only so many puffs he could eat. I decided to try some cut up bananas and have him hang in the high chair while I cooked. All in all it took him 30ish minutes to eat his banana but it let me cook. When he was done we shared some soup together. My mommy guilt was ringing loudly as we finished as it was time to start his bedtime routine. All in all we had spent maybe 15 minutes playing together. I tell myself today will be better, there will always be days like this.
It makes me sad some days to be away from him but at the same time I work hard to convince myself that I am working hard for him. Oh mommy guilt. If only there were more hours in the day.
How do you handle mommy guilt?